I got used to taking meds before my age even hit double digits. What can I say, I wasn’t a healthy kid.
That was a long time ago, but I still remember how it felt staring at the invaders in my hand. There was one tablet in particular — it was big, capsule-shaped and white if I remember correctly. How annoying, that it would disguise itself as a capsule, trying to fool me into thinking it was easy to swallow. But for the most part, it worked back then. Despite the size and the rough corners, I would always think of it least.
On occasion, I’d throw a fit when it was time for my pills. I remember thinking, why did I even have to take them? If I skipped, even just once, would I die? Would it be so bad if I just ignored them, went on playing with my toys, no matter how serious they were to the people around me?
But I was told that taking my medicine was important. It sure as hell wasn’t important to me then, but it was to my mom. And because she was important to me, I always knew that after agonizing over them, in the end I would take them anyway.
So no matter how I tried to delay, as kids do, I could not ignore the fact that I had 2-4 pills to swallow in my hand. It would take more than one glass of water to get the first few down, but they were kinda easy.
And then I would come to that treacherous caplet. I learned that the longer I stared at it, the harder it would be for me to just get it overwith. In the back of my mind I was always certain that there was something in it for me, that I did in fact want to take it. But it was hard.
And so after doing so much as crying about it, I’d toss it in, drink like no tomorrow. At that point if I hesitated, I knew from experience that it could get jammed down there and that would hurt me more. I didn’t want that, no sir. So I went against all that made me a kid, and even just for that moment, I grew up.
It was always the toughest to swallow for me, though I’d never think of it that way until that moment I actually had to do it. Over a decade forward, I can take pills without water. But I still have the urge to ask why. Why do I have to be the one to swallow that pill, why now, why in the first place? Why do I have no right to throw a fit? Why must it crash down like this? Me with my unrehearsed deer-in-headlights look, feeling like that 8-year-old kid again, but this time having more to swallow than just 500-milligram woes.
But I will, I know it, I just have to get through the motions. It’s hard and it hurts, but what can I say. I know I’m still not a healthy kid.
Please don’t ask. I’m okay. :)